Gambling Jokes
Gambling can be a stressful and challenging endeavour at times so occasionally it’s nice to lighten the mood and recognise the lighter side of things. Here are some top gambling jokes for you to enjoy:
Poker dog
On entering a poker room, a guy sees that at one table a dog is sitting at playing poker. That’s strange, he thinks and takes a closer look. To his astonishment, the dog is playing Texas Hold’em and playing it like any human being. The strange thing is that the other players are taking no notice of the fact they are playing with a dog and treating it just as they would any human player.
After a while, the guy can’t keep quiet any longer and says to one of the players that he can’t believe a dog is playing poker. “He must be the cleverest dog in the world,” he says. The player smiles, responding “well he can’t be that bright, every time he gets a good hand, he wags his tail”.
In for a dime
Jack had taken the holiday of a lifetime at Las Vegas, but things weren’t going his way. In fact, things were going very badly, and he had exhausted his bankroll completely. He was so broke that he had to borrow a dime to go to the bathroom.
On entering the bathroom, he saw that the stall was open, so he used the dime in a slot machine. Remarkably, he won the jackpot. With his winnings, he went on to a blackjack table where and turned his winnings into five million dollars.
Now, with more wealth than he had dreamed off, he embarked on a lecture tour on which he would recount his remarkable story. He would tell his audience that he was so grateful to his benefactor that should he meet him again he would share his fortune with him. After several months of lectures, a man in the audience jumped up and proclaimed, “I am that man – I was the one who gave you a dime!”
“You’re not the one I’m looking for” Jack replied, “ I’m looking for the guy who left the door open!”
Prayer
Joe, previously a lifelong atheist, was so down on his luck that he decided to turn to God. He prayed:
“I have already lost my business, and without money, I stand to lose my house. God, please let me win the lotto.”
But he didn’t win, so he tried again:
“God, please let me win the lotto. I have lost my business, I have lost my house, and I now stand to lose my car”.
Again, he didn’t win, but he gives God one more chance, praying:
“God, this is my last chance. I have lost my business, my house, my car and my wife and children are going hungry. Please let me win the lotto.“
Suddenly there was a blinding flash of life followed by the voice of God:
“Joe, please, at least meet me halfway. Buy a ticket!”
House call
Jim arrives home very late, and his wife asks crossly “Where have you been?”
“I’ve been out with the lads playing poker”, he replies.
His wife scolds “Playing poker with the lads! That the last time. You can pack your bags and leave!”.
“So, can you.” says Jim “This isn’t our house anymore.”
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